"Giving Up Driving" Shelley Peterman Schwarz This month we bring you the another great feature from Shelley Peterman Schwarz. Shelley Peterman Schwarz is an award-winning author, TV personality, self-syndicated columnist, motivational speaker, Internet radio host, and teleclass instructor who offers practical tips and strategies for living well despite chronic illness and disabilities.

September 1985, was the last time I drove a car.  I vividly remember following my husband Dave to the Chevy dealership to have some work done on our Impala. He drove "my car," the Ford Pinto with a stick shift that required more strength and energy to drive.  Our children were 11 and 9; I was 39 years old and knew that I would never drive again.

Today, 23 years after that emotionally painful day I no longer feel that deep sadness.  Looking back, I can see that I had begun grieving the loss months before I actually gave up driving.  During that period, I found excuses not to drive.

As my multiple sclerosis (MS) worsened, I really began to feel unsafe behind the wheel. That day in September, I knew it was time to hang up my keys. Even though I had already been grieving the loss and the independence driving represented, it took months and months to come to terms with how my MS was affecting all aspects of my life.

I can honestly report that my life did not end when I gave up driving; it just changed and, as time went on, I found ways to manage. Perhaps learning how I handled the decision to give up driving will help you if and when the time comes for you to face “the driving question.”

Is it safe for you to drive?
It's a scary question but one you must answer honestly.  Do fatigue, tremors (clonus) in your legs, hand strength or coordination, vision problems, or cognitive function affect your driving?  Talk openly and honestly with your family and/or your doctor.  You don't want to put yourself, your family members, or anyone else at risk because your skills, thought processes or reaction times are not up to par. 

For me, leg tremors, strength to turn the key in the ignition, and fatigue were the symptoms that got my attention.  As much as I wanted to continue driving, I was terrified of being involved in an accident because I might hurt someone else and I certainly didn't want the adverse effects an accident might have on my MS.

Wondering how you could live without driving?
I admit it's hard to get your mind around all the things we do that require driving. I found ways to manage and it helped make me stronger.  I asked people who were going to the same meeting, event, or activity to pick me up.  Today, with inflated gas prices, it makes sense to carpool. For people who frequently drove me (or the kids), I gave them gas money.  I didn't feel as guilty asking for a ride and they appreciated my monetary thank you.

When people said, "let me know how I can help," I did.  My friends have picked up a few things for me at the grocery store, taken books back to the library, and brought my prescriptions from the pharmacy among other things.

Take advantage of services for drivers with special-needs
If you are unable to buckle your seatbelt and are concerned about getting a ticket because your state has a mandatory seatbelt law, carry a state exemption certificate, available from the same agency that licenses drivers, or doctor's prescription with you to indicate the medical reason you are unable to wear a seatbelt.  Be certain that the documentation includes your doctor's name, address, and telephone number.

All states offer temporary and permanent disabled parking permits and license plates for people who are unable to walk or have difficulty walking. In most cases, the permit must be authorized by your physician. The disabled parking permit allows holders to park in designated handicapped parking spots, as well as metered street or municipal parking spots of ½ hour or more, without time restrictions (unless otherwise posted). For more information about disabled parking permits, contact your state Department of Transportation about the requirements and application procedures where you live.

Every car needs gas.  However, how do you obtain your gas if you have strength or mobility limitations? The federal Americans with Disabilities Act requires that gas stations, including self-service, must provide refueling assistance to disabled patrons at the same price as self serve. Some restrictions apply, such as when there is only one person on duty, and patrons must ask for the discounted price. Look for the handicapped assistance signs at gas stations locally and as you travel for instructions on how to receive refueling assistance. For more information contact the US Department of Justice ADA Information Line at 800-514-0301 (voice) or 800-514-0383 (TDD) or on-line at www.ada.gov/gasserve.htm.